Being intentional about our homes as men, begins with planning. I had in past years, always allowed other things – namely: work, Church, Ministry or other people’s events; to determine the diary plans for my family – this served to unintentionally deprioritise my home. A few years ago I ‘wizened up, and remedied this.

I recall that my wife would ask at the end of each year, what the plan for the family would be for the New Year. I would confidently reel off the plans for Church and ministries with so much enthusiasm! After which she would ask “what about the family in all of this?”

I admit this annoyed me for years! Honestly I can’t really put my finger on what angered me the most! Was it my African male ego that felt “how dare she as a woman ask me that, I am the head of the home?” Or was it because I got caught out each year on the same issue – of lack of planning; or simply that I am a man and I should know these things and do them!

Due to my anger being improperly channeled, I missed out on the key issue! Until one blessed day, I allowed the Holy Spirit to take me beyond my anger and ego – yes I began to see my failings.

The truth is that our homes should always come first! The family should be my No 1 ministry! A place I can’t afford to fail. You can imagine my triumph when the next end of year period came, and we were out as usual having our end of year review. I couldn’t wait for my darling wife to ask the question. And when she did, I slapped my notepad on the table and looked straight into her eyes triumphantly with a look that says “I am so ready for you today honey!”

For the life of me, I couldn’t fathom how I had gone through the years without having a plan for my family! But rather than dwelling on my failings, I began to work on my newly found passion.

It’s not always easy being a man, and the role of being a husband and a father comes with a high cost! However since we have our role model in Christ, on how to be a husband to His bride (church) and a Father to the fatherless; we can overcome.

So I decided to plan everything ‘around’ my family, and not the other way round! What I mean is that I put my plans for the family in the diary first; and built work, church, ministries, and other people’s event around this.

In the following Bible passages from 1 Timothy 3:1-7, and Titus 1:5-9; we clearly see the weight of emphasis placed on a man’s responsibility in his home. For me, this simply depicts that a man’s family is the central “proving ground.” This is where a man’s heart and leadership ability are revealed – and this is where we (men) ought to always start from.

Regardless of our gifts and abilities, if there is a vacuum or unmet needs (spiritual, physical or emotional) in the home, then these are the needs we must apply ourselves to.

On this note, God has impressed on my wife and I, in our ministry to couples especially; to run informal workshops for married couples. The aim is to facilitate discussions as men only and women only forums – then regroup; thus helping both husbands and wives to identify with Christ and His primary purpose for their homes for 2016 and beyond. Join us for BAID’s Couples Husbands Inc. and Wives Inc fellowship bi-mothly. Watch this space for dates and updates.

If you’ll like to have our special BAID (Husbands & Wives Inc) couples year planner template please inbox my wife or I and we will email a copy to you personally.

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